Today is one of those days, when I sit back and look at a picture, person, and think of those incidences and think, fuck all that really happened? I mean it all seems as if it was remotely never ever connected to me, but yet all that had really, really happened.
To be exact, the feeling is like how you wake up one morning after having one hell of a bad dream and say, “Shit, mumble mumble blah blah la la ….”
Yea, that type of moment.
Fuck, I had got momentarily upset that I yelled at that guy when drunk? Felt guilty because of that guy?
Fuck, that relationship had happened? With thaat guy?
Fuck, I fell down the stairs staring at that crush? Thaat guy?
Fuck, I was upset when I was in 6th grade, because one girl bitched about me. Thaat upset me?
Fuck, thaaaat? All that blah blah.
You know, such kinda incidences. Its not just about the face, or the character vibe, or the bad high school memories. It is just that, call me arrogant, I feel like “I was connected to this?”
Probably it is one of those moment when I feel my tastes, behavior, all that has evolved. I no more say yes without thinking to life changing situations. I don’t go against my strong feelings, just to make the other person feel um.. happy, on top of the world sorts. (?)
I have learnt, I don’t have to go barking back to an insecure bitch or any kutta because it is simply a BIG waste of time and chunk of emotions in my that particular day of life. Rather, I have learnt when to bite my tongue and when to let it go loose.
(And some more blah blah shit this and that moments)
Motor mouthed. (I know. I mentioned contradicting characters)
All that means, this is one of that moment in one of those days of my life when I feel, I have grown.
And today is one of those days, when I feel happy that I’m no more connected to “this?”. Like one of the best things ever happened, other than my existence. 🙂