Random Thoughts of an Exhausted Mind

There is a difference. Exhausted mind. Exhausted body.


 I should note down my thoughts. I have stopped doing that. The randomness of my thoughts is surprising me. Sometimes they are so beautiful and so fast, that it seems waste few hours later when I can’t even remember what I was thinking about.


 I hate the beginnings. I hate goodbyes. In between is the best time in any relation.


Today while walking down the road, facing the wind trying to blow me away and the vehicles that loved my legs, I realized what my dream is, is nothing but my passion. I wouldn’t know how passionate I am about my dream if I don’t even taste it. Let me lick it, let it tingle my tongue. Then there will be a big bite, the tingle will linger forever. That is my probability 1.
1 for hope
0 for failure
One risk I’ve to take.
Fear of failure, I’ve to face.

I love infinity.
I love numbers.
I love metaphors.
I love words.
I love puns.
I love oxymoron.
I love the word free.
I love freedom.
I love symmetry.
I love silence.
I love making people uncomfortable. Nice people.
I love sound. I love sight.
I love senses.
I love Batman.
I love Sherlock Holmes.
I love so many things.


Squirm sounds like worm.
Squeeze sounds squeeezy.


Secrets are beautiful. A hint about it and it creates an air of mystery. Decipher it. Find out what is hidden beneath all those lines.


The pursuit of perfect happiness. With a person. With self. One ignorable flaw discovered and it breaks the  beauty of perception of what seems to be perfect. For a person obsessed with perfection and only perfection it is tough to settle for anything. Just anything. A reminder to self: that flaw is the path to perfection. Perfection is untouchable-ly near.
Yea I created that word.


Secrets are intertwined with truth and lies. That makes it even more mysterious. How much does truth matter? How much does a lie matter? To keep a person motivated when she’s dying, tell her she is not dying? Lie. How much did it help her when she eventually heard what is happening to her? Truth eventually finds its way. Digs and digs and slaps you in your face.


How much can another human be trusted?


Sometimes it is fun to watch other person underestimate me. I like watching them get uncomfortable again when I decide to show how ignorant they are.


Being in control. At times it feels so powerful. Knowing when to be in control. Even more powerful.
I like the power.


Life is all about choices. Everything is about choices.
I chose to share my randomness with you today.


Why were prime number called as prime numbers? Who made all those rules about numbers?
Prime numbers are special. Just special. I am going to use them and make my secrets even more difficult for you to dig.


Decipher me.
I dare you.


It is so easy to fall in love with fictional characters.
It is so easy to fall in love with a voice of a face I have never seen.

The word beautiful is itself so beautiful.
Like the word free.


I should leave. I’ve to get stressed at office tomorrow, again.
I’m a grown up now. I work.

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"Why Do We Fall Down Bruce?"

“So that we can learn how to pick ourselves again.”

Next time when he offers you a hand when he sees you are tripping millions of times, just take his hand instead of refusing him because of your pride. And that too more than thrice.
Because at times, some emotions are way more important than your pride.

This one probably got the wrong sign because of my pride.

Time to pick  myself up again. 🙂
—..

Day and Night

I am getting tired of duality now.

It’s like Mr. Harvey Two Face, who has to flip a coin to decide if he will kill Batman or let him go. Or like Batman himself, who wears a mask at night and wanders around (now when the mayor flashes his bat signal) in his sexy batmobile fighting mean guys to quench his thirst for his never ending revenge. And then he suffers  wondering who he really is. 

Identity crisis.

Situation makes that alter ego. For a while the alter ego is welcome. But in time when there are so  many frequent shifts between the personality, it becomes frustrating to understand who I really am. Not that I want to put a fixed label to myself. That will  be limiting myself leaving no room to grow.

The alter is something born out due to repressed emotions. arrrrrrrrgh

In short, duality is simply very very tiring and frustrating.
—..