My Little Moments

I am pretty
Oh so pretty
And witty and smart
You said I’m pretty
Oh so pretty
You found me pretty
I got your attention
Should I feel nice?

(Read:  See my face in your book.)
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That beautiful moment when I’m pushed to live my dreams, chase what I want, because that world is where they feel I perfectly belong. And with that they probably feel the mistake they did is rectified. With that, they feel they are living their dreams through my eyes.

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Teenage love. Probably nothing will be as pure as that. It now comes with baggage and conditions and a list to avoid the mistake that was made when I was a teenager. Irony.
Then again, there is a good chance that I am wrong. 🙂
I miss how simpler I was back then.
I have changed beyond recognition too.
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Talking about love, there are so many beautiful, intriguing humans. I am finding it difficult to imagine being bonded to one and one alone.

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It’s sad how we replace one from other so frequently though.
It’s sad how we think we are replaced.
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When home, I will raise a toast for Poda Land with a shot of gin. And some more.
For she gave me my beloved independence. For she taught me to be responsible.
For she is making me feel grown up, now that I pay my own bills.
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 I once used to speak in pig language to irritate some.
Oink oink.
Now I call my BIL a green angry bird pig.
I own two green angry bird ke pigs too.
Oink oink 😀
—..

Random Thoughts of an Exhausted Mind

There is a difference. Exhausted mind. Exhausted body.


 I should note down my thoughts. I have stopped doing that. The randomness of my thoughts is surprising me. Sometimes they are so beautiful and so fast, that it seems waste few hours later when I can’t even remember what I was thinking about.


 I hate the beginnings. I hate goodbyes. In between is the best time in any relation.


Today while walking down the road, facing the wind trying to blow me away and the vehicles that loved my legs, I realized what my dream is, is nothing but my passion. I wouldn’t know how passionate I am about my dream if I don’t even taste it. Let me lick it, let it tingle my tongue. Then there will be a big bite, the tingle will linger forever. That is my probability 1.
1 for hope
0 for failure
One risk I’ve to take.
Fear of failure, I’ve to face.

I love infinity.
I love numbers.
I love metaphors.
I love words.
I love puns.
I love oxymoron.
I love the word free.
I love freedom.
I love symmetry.
I love silence.
I love making people uncomfortable. Nice people.
I love sound. I love sight.
I love senses.
I love Batman.
I love Sherlock Holmes.
I love so many things.


Squirm sounds like worm.
Squeeze sounds squeeezy.


Secrets are beautiful. A hint about it and it creates an air of mystery. Decipher it. Find out what is hidden beneath all those lines.


The pursuit of perfect happiness. With a person. With self. One ignorable flaw discovered and it breaks the  beauty of perception of what seems to be perfect. For a person obsessed with perfection and only perfection it is tough to settle for anything. Just anything. A reminder to self: that flaw is the path to perfection. Perfection is untouchable-ly near.
Yea I created that word.


Secrets are intertwined with truth and lies. That makes it even more mysterious. How much does truth matter? How much does a lie matter? To keep a person motivated when she’s dying, tell her she is not dying? Lie. How much did it help her when she eventually heard what is happening to her? Truth eventually finds its way. Digs and digs and slaps you in your face.


How much can another human be trusted?


Sometimes it is fun to watch other person underestimate me. I like watching them get uncomfortable again when I decide to show how ignorant they are.


Being in control. At times it feels so powerful. Knowing when to be in control. Even more powerful.
I like the power.


Life is all about choices. Everything is about choices.
I chose to share my randomness with you today.


Why were prime number called as prime numbers? Who made all those rules about numbers?
Prime numbers are special. Just special. I am going to use them and make my secrets even more difficult for you to dig.


Decipher me.
I dare you.


It is so easy to fall in love with fictional characters.
It is so easy to fall in love with a voice of a face I have never seen.

The word beautiful is itself so beautiful.
Like the word free.


I should leave. I’ve to get stressed at office tomorrow, again.
I’m a grown up now. I work.

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My Image of Perfection

She is everything I had decided to be before a certain period: She is independent, free, strong. She has her own apartment. She is a single mother with two kids. She has an awesome job. Drives her car herself around, no driver. She has the respect she deserves in her world of profession and friend circle. One time owned a small company of her own. There is lots more to her awesomeness which I refrain adding here.

She is my image of perfection.

And perfection comes with a price, always. All the struggles, slogging, frustrations, the downs with every up, the attacks to be borne alone with no shoulder support. And she has her own story.

I thought I was immature for wanting all this before I get bound. When I saw she had it, loved it, enjoyed it, I felt sound.

She warned me. I understood.
She talked about harsh realities. I understood again.
She talked about destiny and fate. I disagreed. I didn’t understand. I didn’t feel like voicing it out at that moment, because right then it was one of the most wonderful moment: getting to know.

A bittersweet life, I don’t seem to mind to have now.
Then again I’m young and headstrong. I might get all of it with much more. Including everything I blocked.

Amazing feeling to see my image in a real woman. And that it is not just an image of fantasy.
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Simple Pleasures

There’s always some once upon a time in every lazy bum’s land.
I started loving the whole process of making tea. Different types, with intuitive precision to obtain perfection.
From ginger lemon grass tea to simple black tea lemon flavored.

Making one elaichi tea to perfection, only to realize dad loved it but he doesn’t like the elaichi flavor. He said yes to it because I showed interest.
boo hoo ha ha ha. 🙂 😦

For me, I would love Barista or CCD serve me my favorite iced teas 🙂
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Three Blind People

Bangalore never stops surprising me. Beautiful, charming city.

All started from Majestic (Main central bus stand of Bangalore). Weak legs, on phone, walking backwards collided into a guy. Natrual reaction: I looked back. A guy dressed in white shirt, black goggles and a white stick with red end was finding his way in the crowded bus stop. For a minute I was surprised, quickly apologized. A small smile from him. Must have heard it in my tone.

Five minutes later, a small boy of about 10 year old was walking in that crowd, holding his mother’s hand navigating her. What made me smile was this small dialogue by that boy, “Amma! Amma noddi, double bus!” (Mummy! Mummy look, double bus!) The boy’s innocence, probably not understanding reality. But this reminded me of a scene from a french movie Amelie. Amelie helps an old blind man cross the road with fast strides and at the same time giving him the description of things around them but about who she is and then finally leaving him without a goodbye, with his face facing the sky with a smile on his lips. And that was beautiful. I had got this chance when I was in school, but I was too scared to even approach. I’ll do this unfinished business next time to an unexpected stranger.

The final one, he was standing at the bus stop, waiting for a bus alone and confident. Beauty.

Looking at this, I should have nothing to complain. What strength is, I could see in them. Another type of strength. Accepting, smiling and living.

I met so many wonderful strangers. Friends for a day. And that was perfect friendship. One an researcher in aeronautics who is a blogger, also likes Jay Sean type of music. And his thoughts on reality and universe. Beautiful. While going to Majestic again.

And today, another old man proud about his two graduated working daughters. And those three blind people.

Simple life. All the things that are worth, lives. Rest, should just let go.
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