Then, one day tired of all the disappointments and the sense of my world going out of control, I stepped inside a Bose showroom. I had to get the control back. I had to make something work. I had to get at least one thing that I had been pining for. So, I walked in. I stood by those beauty and made my choice. I didn’t look at the price tag and I just bought it. Couple of days later, I came by my old post where I had made my bucket list. Owning Bose was one of my wishes.
Maybe it didn’t happen the way I had dreamed it to be. Maybe, it happened when I was not in the best of my state. But it did happen. I guess, it stuck in my subconscious. Maybe this was running at the back of my head, “If I can’t get him, I can take control and get this.”
So my Bose was adapting to my personality. It got it’s own skin. It got recognized. It got admired. It got everything that I had. I was a proud owner. It became an extension of my being. A place where I could lose myself.
Then one day, it was taken away from me.
This was a second heart break. But it still didn’t seem to affect me.
I looked for replacement. Love never dies. It just gets transferred to another being/thing.
Couple of months later, I got the same Bose. I couldn’t help myself. It was like getting back to my ex, but at the same time a shiny new one. It was such a relief. The sense of being back in the comfort zone. The feeling of being happy – I didn’t want to miss that anymore. I didn’t want to compromise anymore.
So I owned it again.
It was like a second chance. I started being cautious. I started caring about it more. I didn’t take it for granted. I didn’t want it to be stolen from me again. I got to relive it again. All the good stuff. All the addictive good stuff.
That made me wonder, do we really realize the worth of things around us only when we lose it?
When is that we stop appreciating things?
And if we get the lost thing back again, after some period of time, would we actually change or go back being the same us we always were?
I guess, I will know it in time. The moment I will stop being conscious about it.