That Happy Place

It was a big hunt, to find that one place of solace where I could find eternal peace. A place I can always run to everytime I felt down.

I first thought a beach called Thiruvanmiyur in Chennai. A place to let lose all the frustration with the strong night beachy breeze. I could see the stars twinkling if the weather was clear.

Then I moved.

It became impossible to touch those silky sands again and feel them slip between my toe. It became impossible to want to hear the waves at my whim and desire. I missed it.

I was in search again.

Then I was in Ha Long Bay. A visit. With people I liked being around. There was this boat ride. Being in middle of vast water body. Feeling peaceful in the midst of small islets. Sitting on the top of a big boat. Listening to the wind blow. Feeling tiny in midst of this huge, beautiful nature. Enjoying the silence I longed for. Leaving my sadness bit by bit. Because it could take it. Peaceful.

Then the trip came to an end.

I couldn’t travel across countries just to feel the serenity at my whim. It didn’t stay with me.

The search continued.

The next place was relatively closer. It was 3 hours drive away from the city. It was a lake in midst of a small city. It is called Kukkarahalli lake. A 4 kilometres stretch. A peaceful walk early in the morning. Walking around the water body which is surrounded by lushness. People co existing in peace. Doing their own thing. I had found a small corner in the middle of the stretch. A series of mini stairs which attempted to take me closer to the water. I could sit there, forever. Look at the calm water. Silent. Graceful. Emanating some strong positive energy. Making me feel refreshed. Renewed.

I had to return to the concrete jungle. Earn my livelihood. It wasn’t closer, again

The search continued.

When the heart is exhausted, relieved, in turmoil, the magnanimity of simple things stand out.

I had found my happy place at last. It was and is right here with me in my home. I discovered it while watching Charlie and Lola with my 2 year old niece. Her favourite cartoon currently. She either sits on me or next to me with her head leaning on my shoulder. Today, she sat on my lap resting her legs on my pillow. Her head resting on my chest. Snugly wrapped around in my arms as she sucked her thumb while she watched Lola create Lola land.

The search had ended.

There it was, everything and more than before. Right in my arms. Every single day.

My Happy Place in the world.

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My Adventure with Gazelle

It was a long drive. With many white lies. Once we reached our destination, it was the beginning of our own version of Mr. Bean’s Holiday.

It all started once we saw our first circle of the city. There were three roads ahead of us. By the time we saw a sign and decided which road to take, we had circled the roundabout twice. And when we realized what had happened, we bursted out laughing, and thus began our very own mini adventure. Then onward any road we took would be a path to new discovery. We were still lost. But the beauty of being lost is, you have no notions or a set up path and you end up finding new things. Build stronger relations. Face all emotions. And in the end, attain the most important thing we pursue: happiness in all that fun.

We had little time to spare and lot of things to do. And it’s amazing, how we then begin to value our time. The lesser the more valuable it gets. Unconsciously your whole world will revolve around that precious few hours. Inevitably you are made to think and decide – who and what deserves your time. And those decisions keep happening spontaneously, without you realizing who and what you discarded in that hurried moment. Probably that was the hard truth. Or probably that was what you chose to let go.

It was actually very simple. But the white lies made it all look like a big risk. It was a big risk. But in the end, it was worth it. And that added to the excitement.

Drive down to have one cup of hot chocolate and meet the love of my life.

Drive down to have one big plate of chicken and beer and do what he and I had planned to do since a long time.

The crazier it sounds when you start doing it, the better and better it keeps getting.

5 Beautiful Days

5 Days

Is it enough to change a person?

What if those 5 days is nothing but basking in pure pleasure of everything that a person would wish in his day to day life? Stimulating conversations. Early morning walks and beating lethargy. Agreeable freedom at night. All this in a slow, small, peaceful city. All this is real. I am on that side of the grass which will always be greener.

Now back to be lost as a dot in the crowd, there is some sense of loss: of the essence that makes me as a person or the spirit that makes me want to get up and do things, I do not know. But it is a loss. Thinking of this, makes me wonder if this is not a change at all. If this change is nothing but a reversal of the natural nature of a person? Where the crowd doesn’t exists. Or the existence of the crowd is as insignificant as a speck of dust. The standards of interactions have probably gone up a notch. Where randomness is not about the daily routine but about spontaneity, not making a plan for another plan. Where there is some sense and maturity.