It is wonderful how we keep evolving. One of the most beautiful thing: evolving.
Back in late teens, when there was this fairy tale idea about love, when the mind was forever confused, where you said yes to a person/something just because that person wanted you to, or your best friend did a soul searching crap. Where the mind was so unsure of saying yes to what you actually wanted but instead ended up saying yes to things which were sugar coated and unreal, to things which seemed to right to the third person not you. Staying in something because the other was sure that it will work even when you kicked inside to get out of it. But, you stayed.
Evolution brings out the ugliness of that sugar coated love.
You know, the best thing about flights? Take off.
It slowly steers towards the runway. A powerful wooshing sound and then it runs with such powerful force that you are pushed back on your seat. That energy is mind blowing. It bubbles something inside that red pumping thingy inside my chest, which I tag as euphoria. This is exactly how evolution feels. From dependence to one independent mind.
Where I say no because I didn’t want it. Where I say yes, because I honestly wanted it. Where I decide without crappy unasked advices. Where I choose what I want to believe in and what to discard. Where I do not ask if I should or shouldn’t to those sugar coated jackasses when I want to do something and instead I just do it. Where I only say things when I mean it and do not see the need to sugar coat it. Where I despise reasons and no more scared about what you’ll think when I say that. Where I refuse to give explanations unless necessary. Where I make my decisions.
I am obsessed with the whole independence idea.
It is the best thing that ever happened to me. More than I wish for part: My baggage – Chennai. But hey, I am out of a box! Probably I’m romanticizing with this idea because I imagine I feel suffocation. Part of evolution: getting out of comfort zone.
She warned me again when I visited her recently. She discarded many of my ideas. Her reason: None. I’ll learn in time. (She is awesome!)
And then, the most wonderful thing happened. When coming back home via flight, starting from take off to in flight mode I realized life is just the same as from that Point A period to Point B period: There is that powerful force, energy full of excitement, you’ll climb higher and higher. The elevation will be bit uncomfortable, past fading away, some a bit painful. Then comes the cloud of forgotten fading memories and then finally the stable flight with slight turbulence now and then. Depending on clouds.
It’s wings were my wings.
That made me look forward to everything.
Whats with those couples? Trying to hook single people every time! Every boy I am with is my guy? Kya yaar? Arey, I do not want your misery! I am euphoric! Very very euphoric! Single hood is THE best thing ever happened to me! This is where the independent mind started. Iyam very very free. That last one was like a fucking cage where I had to sing like that emperor’s nightingale. Why do you want to mess with me ya!? I’ll tell you when I find a real man. Man I say, “Man”. Not one of those crying, PMSing, complaining, sensitive, going and crying to mama/girlfraand (when I upset them :D) boys. Booyaaaiss.