Normalcy

I am normal.

I found repeating that to myself today. Over and over again.

My disorders maybe define me. And the saddest thing was, even though I’ve accepted my psychiatrist’s diagnosis that I’m bipolar, I saw myself as threat to others. Believed that no human should get “this” as a partner when looking for a romantic relationship. For a long time.

I forgot I’m still lot better. I want to give myself that credit. Today. Now.

I’m not unkind to people on purpose. If it was not for kindness I received, I wouldn’t have made this much of recovery. I wouldn’t have been alive. I can empathize. I know how kindness can save lives.

I don’t toy with people’s feelings. I’m upfront about things.

I’ve patience. Sadly, more for wrong people. But I do give them chances. Maybe because I know that human beings are complex beings. And that lot of their past experience makes them what they are today.

I’m not a monster just because I’m bipolar.

My intelligence is not compromised because I have manic depression. Another term for bipolar.

I’m still normal.

I’ve not hurt anyone. Caused no harm. Follow the philosophy of live and let live.

I am normal. I said that to my anxiety today.

Eventually, the being in me got tired of getting beat up by my anxiety. Of making me believe I’m not worth it. Of making me forget those who are around me and are actually there for me. Who care for me. Genuinely.

I can’t be that flawed. Just because of bipolarity and because my anxiety say so.

Maybe, I broke free a bit. I know the struggle will start again with anxiety and it’s attempt at supression. But for today, I realised I am normal.

It took a huge weight off my chest.

Made me see myself in a softer light.

Don’t let your anxiety get to you either.